Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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