is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
