I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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