Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
