What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
