After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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