We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
