"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
