We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am available for nakedness
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
