can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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