Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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