just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
