C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
