yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
