and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
