I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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