i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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