can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
