he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
