Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
