i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
