Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
