mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
