Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize