i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
