Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
