What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
