Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
