I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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