I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
