i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
