I am in a vortex of obligation.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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