it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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