why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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