I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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