Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
