We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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