i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
