He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
