I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
