If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
