He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
