Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i drank out of a bidet.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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