Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
