You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
