Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
