Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
babies were throwing up all over the place
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
