sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
