he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
