no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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