Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
