What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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