You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
