True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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