He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm like, not good at living.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
