We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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