We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
