PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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